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Underestimated self-esteem and how to deal with it

According to psychologists, the main reason for manyproblems of modern man may well be understated self-esteem. Let's look at the statistics. It turns out that on the planet 80% of the population does not satisfy their professional status or position in society. How is it shown? Yes, much in what! For example, in the impossibility of finding a job or the need to engage in unloved and boring activities, some people constantly face problems in the family, others suffer from loneliness or unrealized abilities. An insecure person finds it difficult to find a common language with others, and he, as a rule, is subject to various kinds of phobias.

What to do? All specialists unanimously repeat that if you are determined to be healthy and happy, you have nothing to do but struggle with self-doubt.

In this article, I would like to reveal the essence of this problem, point out the origins of its origin, and also give some tips on how to become more confident, more resolute, and therefore happier.

Low self-esteem. Definition of concept

For all of us, and exceptions here, I suppose, notmaybe there is a so-called image of one's own "I", which can justly be considered the center of personality. What does it consist of? I would say that, first of all, from the ideal idea of ​​yourself, and this self-awareness, as a rule, is very carefully guarded against any kind of criticism.

In the soul, each of us is confident in our perfection,significance and uniqueness. Why? Yes, because a person simply could not live if he was completely confident in his worthlessness and uselessness. That is, initially in each of us, nature laid a certain amount of talent and confidence in overcoming difficulties. But the fact is that every day there are a lot of circumstances that, one way or another, undermine our faith in our own abilities, and this is precisely the result of such negative feelings as feelings of insecurity, guilt, fear and complete discontent with oneself as a result. There is a low self-esteem, aggressiveness, irritability and weakness.

How does an ordinary person act in this case? Do not know? I'll tell you. He begins to shift the blame to others, and he goes deeper and deeper into himself, thereby only exacerbating the situation.

Types of self-evaluation

In general, psychologists believe that there are three types of self-assessment:

  • low self-esteem;
  • adequate;
  • elevated.

Without any doubt, the best self-esteemit is necessary to consider the naturalness and adequacy of behavior. Let's see how people behave with different self-esteem. For example, take a mother with a small child.

Children are children.Movable kid rushed around the yard, fell several times, bleached his knees and palms, shoes, of course, are not very clean. Mom with a low self-esteem will be ashamed of the child and will try to leave home as soon as possible, so that none of the neighbors will notice the "exploits" of her child.

Mom with adequate self-esteem is always ready for this kind of adventure, so in her pocket there are wet wipes or a handkerchief. The kid will not even notice how it will turn into a cleanse again.

Well, a parent with high self-esteemwill try to turn slovenliness into a kind of feat, noting before the other mummies that her child is the most gifted (fast, brave, brave), and dirty clothes are just an extra proof of her rightness.

Low self-esteem: how to deal with this

Immediately I wanted to warn you that it's fast, andthe more immediate result should not be expected. This process can take quite a long time. Why? It seems to me, because a person has to change his way of thinking and his own perception of himself, and this can not happen overnight.

So, underestimated self-esteem is a problem everyone can handle if desired, for this it is only necessary to try to adhere to the following tips:

  • Never compare yourself with other people.You are you! Remember once and for all. Yes, it's possible that something important is missing from your friends, but believe me, in some ways they envy you.
  • Do not scold yourself and at all costs avoid comments aimed at self-deprecation.
  • For complements you need to thank, not try to disprove them.
  • Surround yourself with positive people.
  • Think and make a list of personal achievements and positive personal qualities. They are guaranteed to eat!
  • Give more than you receive.
  • Do only what you like.
  • Live your own life.
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