"Do not run", "do not jump", "do not take in hands" - asoften banned parents with the content of such statements. The child, of course, does everything with accuracy and vice versa - runs, sweeping away everything in its path, jumping and grabbing everything that does not fall. Why does the child not obey? Who is to blame for his disobedience? If the child does not obey what to do?
The child does not obey what to do? - Watch speech
The subconscious of man is so arranged that the particle"NOT" is practically not perceived at all. Consciously a person understands what he is being asked for, but most likely after some time, he will do the opposite. For example, perhaps experiment with asking a loved one: ask once that he "did not forget", and in the next cut to "remember". I assure you that the instruction with the phrase "remember" will be performed accurately and qualitatively, which can not be said about the phrase "I forgot".
It is necessary to try to replace words with the particle "NOT".Let's say "do not clap" to "close quietly", "do not touch" "leave, let it lie", etc. Initially, it will be difficult to clearly follow the speech, but eventually it will become a habit.
The child does not obey what to do? - Explain available
Very often the disobedience of the child is born of a lack of understanding of the essence of the ban itself: "Why is it an adult, but I can not?".
All babies are very inquisitive, they learnthe surrounding world, objects and their properties. At the sight of my mother, a striking match, he too very much wants to try to light a light. The child is knocking a toy on the glass, he likes this new and sonorous knock. Very important at such moments is the reaction of an adult. For example, a child knocks the same toy on a wooden table - the mother, not paying any attention to it, is engaged in her own affairs. And when he took the toy and began to knock on the glass - my mother in horror with the screams "Can not!" Rushes to him from all angles. The kid is very happy - it's because he made his mom do it. Need to repeat!
It is also very often that the child is asked tosomething to do, with it do not show how. To wait in such a situation of obedience is useless. There is no sense in requiring the kid to remove the toys in their place, if to him it is not only not interesting, but he does not even know where this place is. But if the mother turns this kind of cleaning into a kind of ritual, when the cars need not just be folded, but put into the garage, pupae and little animals to bed. And more and several times will show and help, undoubtedly, such cleaning will never cause a child to protest.
The child does not obey what to do? - Prohibit to measure
Stubbornness and disobedience can arise when too many quantities and strict prohibitions. For example, a three-year-old child asks his mother:
- Mom, can I play in the yard?
- No, it's very cold there.
- Mom, can I play in the house?
"No, you can break something."
- Mom, can I eat ice cream?
- No, you can get a sore throat ...
The result of such dialogues will most often be Danish tears, and parents at this point will complain about disobedience. One of the important rules should be remembered - prohibitions should be reasonable.
When answering questions that are so important in upbringing,how - "The child does not obey what to do?", "How to make the child obey?" It should be remembered that every child is individual. A child is not born rebellious, such is his upbringing and the attitude of adults towards him. Every child has natural needs with which we adults should always be considered - these are the needs for affection, love, understanding, independence and freedom. To the extent, of course, restrictions and rules should be, but it is also important that they are agreed between the parents. And it's worth remembering one very important moment in the upbringing - all the children are not striking against the rules, but against the methods of their implementation!
