Well, of course, who does not know him.It's Chuck himself, and besides Norris, that is, he immediately chucked, and the hole swarmed. About him and say - hit only 2 times, one - on the head, and the second - on the lid of the coffin. Six-time world champion in karate won for his life about 200 fights and remained unbeaten. His real name is Carlos Ray Norris. He went down in history and as an actor in cinema, who played many remarkable roles. Legends, jokes and anecdotes have been invented about him. Today, a fighter, an artist and just a good person, despite his 70 plus years, continues to please fans with various performances in the press and on TV, and his age in this, as they say, is not a hindrance, but fun.
A list of jokes about Chuck Norris
If in any conversation the topic of discussion -martial arts, the phrase about the famous "Texas Ranger" will certainly slip through. Hochma and anecdotes about Chuck Norris spread everywhere. Let's give a brief list of the best smeshochkov about a powerful warrior.
What Chuck Norris knows:
- Get the Cyclops between the eyes.
- Squeeze orange juice out of the lemon.
- Bring the rubber woman to the real orgasm.
- Make the bow roar.
- Kill two birds with one bird.
- Make the bed rock and move the water.
- Once and for all shut the swinging door.
- Breathe vacuum instead of oxygen.
- Decide without hours, how much time now.
- Jump out of underwear.
What this guy does not know how:
- Fall like a log.
- Sink like an ax.
- Understand the joke and stop in time.
- Aging. There are no age-related deviations.
- Answer the question about how much time? He always says - two seconds before - and pursues a karon kick.
- Boil the soup in a saucepan - it does this in the palm of your hand.
- Use the dishes. She's disposable.
- Live in a single house. Always expelled the owners of the house they liked, and when it gets bored, repeats it.
- Ride on horses. Giraffes are obtained.
- Throw a boomerang. He is afraid to return to Chuck Norris.
Anecdotes and jokes about Chuck Norris
At ceremonies and holidays, on the name day andkebabs - everywhere with humor remember a steep karate with a black belt. Where anecdotes about Chuck Norris wander, fun and fervent. And he stands (and not lies) in the same row with the most famous heroes of world cinema.
A lot of romantic anecdotes and stories about Chuck walks through the expanses of satire, because women love him so far, despite the years:
- Jack Nicholson has been visited by 10,000 women in his life for a lifetime, and Chuck Norris has a working schedule from Monday to Friday.
- Safe locks and women do not dare to object to Chuck and are given to him on the first attempt.
- Years of love spared no one but Chuck Norris.
- Previously, girls ran from the young Norris, and now he runs away from the crowds of suffering fanatics.
- Chuck falls asleep on the couch with one beauty, but wakes up on the other. And so for the night ten times.
Steba about the movie with the irreplaceable Chuck
The road to karate Chak opened in the army, and after itthe guide in the contact sport for him was not anybody, but the best friend and unsurpassed hard worker of the tough fight - Bruce Lee. He also directed the first films with Norris, such as: "The Rescue Team" and "The Way of the Dragon", in which he was shot as a stuntman. Some banter about the movie with the irreplaceable Chuck:
- Norris did not get an Oscar for playing in the movies, because he does not know how to play.
- In the film "Jurassic Park" tyrannosaurus did not chase the off-road car, but ran away from Chuck Norris.
- Playing the leading roles in thrillers, Norris always reshuffled them with the new actors.
- Chuck-actor is always at hand with 200 items, which he will be able to kill anyone.
- Never say "Nobody is perfect" with him, otherwise the karatek will take this as an insult.
A lot of anecdotes about Chuck Norris and his mentorBruce was born in 1968-1972. It was at this time that friends not only created films, but rested and played together. They broke the bricks with their hands and heads, and also practiced punches with their fists. Hence the following jokes:
- Chuck Norris does not enter through the door, he appears through the walls.
- Norris does not have a chin, instead there is a third fist.
- The fist of Chuck Norris is the fastest way to the heart of a man.
- Bruce Lee with nunchakami is invincible, and Fist at Chuck - and so, as nunchak.
Let's continue about the funny
Tell and even more so listen to anecdotes aboutChuck Norris is cognitive and funny. Reading the humorous lines, going deep into being such a guy who all the supernatural do not care. Laugh together at the legendary man:
- The Guinness Book of Achievements is trying to reach its records, but it can not.
- Norris spits the seeds faster than the machine gun.
- When training with this restless guy, the trainer grows violently.
- Friends did not have time to warn the karate player when he swallowed the cake with the stripper sitting in it.
- You can look at the water, the fire and Chuck's blow with a foot turn for a long time.
- Chuck does not sleep - he's waiting.
- Traffic lights automatically turn on the cars with red light when Norris passes through the road.
Jokes about Chuck inspired by the truth
In a review of funny anecdotes about Chuck Norris, you canto see the true stories, and although they are hilarious, but it seems that much of what is ridiculed in them, he will perform without doubt. Athletic and hardened in extreme situations, Chuck did not over-joke overcome any obstacles. He and at the moment with almost eighty years of experience will not let down any difficulties.
